“… by his Twitter background ye shall know him – the Mark of the Douche”

Spend enough time on Twitter and you come to learn a lot about people from the backgrounds of their Twitter profiles.

Luckily, the easiest to spot is the douche.
A brief field guide (see plate I : Un-Marketing):

1. The unclickable website or email address:
   Un-Marketing is an exemplary specimen with 2 unclickable web addresses.
2. The preposterous, vaguely rebellious-sounding company name:
   This says Hey I’m not trying to sell you anything! but not really.
3. The processed profile photo:
   Un-Marketing gives us a rare look at how this is done, with the larger, Photoshopped image on the background, and the smaller, unprocessed image in the profile. He has made himself to resemble a Gladiator-era Russell Crowe in a dramatic Proof of Life setting. Impressive.
4. Vague Bio with job positions not of this earth:
   This is where you should mention Star Wars.
5. Condescending advice on how to use Twitter itself:
   “If you use Twitter as a glorified RSS feed for your blog, you’re doing it wrong!”
   Totally ignoring the fact that this is how millions of people do in fact read it. But they’re wrong! Un-Marketing has a seminar on the topic.
6. The spit-out-your-coffee-stupid number of followers:
   WTF is that for real?